Running away

"Nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets."
Paul Tournier

“Lies and secrets, Tessa, they are like a cancer in the soul. They eat away what is good and leave only destruction behind.” ―Cassandra Clarke, Clockwork Prince 

When you are bound to keep a secret, you give all you have to protect it. you lie and keep lying, till you can not distinguish the truth and the lies itself. Your lies seem perfect, but a sentence could destroy it any moment and reveal the ugly truth behind. that's when you will regret all the things you've done to hide it. Lies requires commitment, well that's what Veronica Roth said in Divergent. But i do believe in that words. Hiding things requires a lie, and to support it you need another lie, and eventually the lies become a part of yourself. A constant group of lies. Don't ask me how it feels because it leads to nowhere but sadness and guilt. You keep pushing the limit in order to protect other's secret, but no one tries to protect you anyway. So you have double obligations, to save yourself and to save your significant one. You know that you will feel relieve when everything goes up, but you also the one who will get hurt. You are the spectator but  also a human shield. How bad could it be? So once you involve in a secret that needs lies, you'd better back off to save your self. Because those secrets we hide, that's what makes us lonely. That makes us stay in place, not have a single gut to move forward. We could not solve it but run away from it. And running is tiring.