monster and ghost

pic from tumblr

everyone surely has monster and ghost inside, including me. i do have both, but the monster in me is bigger. i've never been grateful for what i have. i'm surrounded by lovely ones, friends, those nice persons that always fill my day with laugh.i should just trying to accept them the way they are, instead of thinking any other way they should be, because i know they accept me for what i am. the truth is i know i am loved, but because i'm such a monster, i don't love back. for everything i have, for those friends, i might make others jealous and envy, and i should be glad for that instead of trying to run away. i take them for granted. i know it's wrong but i don't know what to do. life doesn't come with instructions. in fact i might be careless and losing them one day. i'm not ready. i just need to be sure that i don't fight alone. i thought too much and blame others too much. i should reflect and just relax. i wanna kick away this monster inside me and be a good angel.